I had a chest xray and apparently from that I am not yet afflicted with cancer although I think maybe I need a CT scan to confirm this. The bottom line is once again I am concerned for my health if I continue to smoke so I decided to try the Champix again even though there are not enough left to finish the recommended course. I took one yesterday and felt nauseous within 5 minutes but fortunately the sickness only lasted an hour or two.
The cravings were still bad and I have had to resort to nicorettes. God knows how many milligrams of nicotine I have consumed today. All the miserable memories of quitting have come flooding back to me. They eat at me relentlessly. They come back several times a day.
Perhaps it would be easier to consider dying of lung cancer than to go through this crap again. In my sensible moments I realise what a stupid comment that is.
I am so overwhelmed at the moment with these awful cravings. I took a Champix today at lunch time. I probably need one now but at They are just dead people to me right now. How powerful this drug nicotine is!!!! I just had a cigarette. Waste of time really. I want another one straight away. The need for a cigarette has been with me since day one.
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I still want one. Well there we go… a two month break from this journal. What does that tell you? I tried my hardest to limit it to just a few a day and I was successful up to a point. The point, even if it is pathetic is that I never did go back to full scale full on smoking.
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But, it began creeping up again. Five a day in no time turns into ten a day. Once again I had trouble breathing and had a shocking cough. I could write a book about Phlegm. I decided that New Year was as good as time as any to make a resolution to quit entirely.
So here I am on day six of no fags. It still makes me feel nauseous but not nearly as bad it did in week 9 of my previous attempt. More often than not I only take one dose in the morning. I hate to feel nauseous in the evening. I am looking forward to a future that is not ruled by a craving for nicotine. I still take Champix when necessary but only half a tablet. Last week we went on a 7 day cruise up to North Queensland. But then the cravings came back. I wrote that early this morning it is now 9. I just want to say that today has been a difficult day.
M ost of the time I feel OK. It has been mid morning recently that the craving strikes. Well no thought actually until things start going wrong. One slight feeling of stress and the cravings rise again. Now I have to reveal my most darkest secret. I never revealed it the next night as promised. Now I have forgotten what it was.
Stop Smoking: Diary of a Quitter
I have almost completed three months of the year without a cigarette. I still have cravings for nicotine. Often quite serious cravings. My overall health has improved. God, I hate that word. I hate the word phlegm and everything to do with it. I can do almost anything now without getting breathless. I will confess here right now that for so many years while I was smoking I had to have a ventolin puffer.
I tried to keep it hidden away and I tried not to let anyone know that I had to have a few puffs of it most days just to breathe easy. I do not have so many thoughts about dying of smoking related diseases and feel that I may have a future. The Christian army, composed primarily of Saxons and Danes , forced tribute from the pagan Slavs and affirmed German control of Wagria and Polabia through colonization, but failed to convert the bulk of the population immediately. The Ottonian dynasty supported eastward expansion of the Holy Roman Empire towards Wendish West Slavic lands during the 10th century; the campaigns of King Henry the Fowler and Emperor Otto the Great led to the introduction of burgwards to protect German conquests in the lands of the Sorbs.
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Otto's lieutenants, Margraves Gero and Hermann Billung , advanced eastward and northward respectively to claim tribute from conquered Slavs. Bishoprics were established at Meissen , Brandenburg , Havelberg , and Oldenburg to administer the territory. A majority of Wendish tribes had been Christianized from the German conquests, but in they returned to paganism when a great Slavic rebellion reversed the initial German gains.
Lacking support from the Salian dynasty of the Holy Roman Empire , secular Saxon princes seeking Slavic territory found themselves in a military stalemate with their adversaries. Christians, especially Saxons from Holstein , and pagans raided each other across the Limes Saxonicus , usually for tribute. The idea of a crusade against the Wends first originated in the Magdeburg Letter, originally sent around to , in which an anonymous author makes an appeal against the Wends;  the Magdeburg Letter makes the case that the Wends are pagans and that any fight against them is justified and the land that they inhabit is "our Jerusalem".
So say those who know it, and so, most renowned Saxon, French, Lorrainers, and Flemings and conquerors of the world, this is an occasion for you to save your souls and, if you wish it, acquire the best land in which to live. From Holsatian nobles advanced into Wagria to permanently settle in the lands of the pagan Wagri. Adolf sought peace with the chief of the Obodrite confederacy , Niklot , and encouraged German colonization and missionary activity in Wagria.
Bernard of Clairvaux to preach a Second Crusade to reinforce Outremer. While many south Germans volunteered to crusade in the Middle East , the north German Saxons were reluctant, they told Bernard of their desire to campaign against the Slavs at a Reichstag meeting in Frankfurt on 13 March The Wends were seen as a threat to Christendom as they were apostates, meaning the crusade against them would be justified. These indulgences offered a complete forgiveness of sin, meaning there was to be no difference between the spiritual rewards of the different crusaders;  those who volunteered to crusade against the Slavic pagans were primarily Danes , Saxons , and Poles ,  although there were also some Bohemians.
In an effort to persuade crusaders to focus on spiritual conversion, Bernard said, "We prohibit completely that a truce be made for any reason with these people [Wends] either for money or tribute, until such time as, with the aid of God either their religion or their nation shall be destroyed," which was an condition added to the papal bull;  the German monarchy took no part in the crusade, which was led by Saxon families such as the Ascanians , Wettin , and Schauenburgers.
Upset at Adolf's participation in the crusade, Niklot preemptively invaded Wagria in June , and, along with the Wagrians, murdered newly settled Fleming and Frisian villages, leading to the march of the crusaders in late summer By attacking first, Niklot gave further justification for the Crusade as he legitimized the Wends as a serious threat to the Christendom. After expelling the Obodrites from his territory, Adolf signed a peace treaty with Niklot; the remaining Christian crusaders targeted the Obodrite fort Dobin and the Liutizian fort Demmin.
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Avoiding pitched battles, Niklot ably defended the marshland of Dobin. Henry and Adalbert maintained the siege of Dobin after the retreat of the Danes; when some crusaders advocated ravaging the countryside, others objected by asking, "Is not the land we are devastating our land, and the people we are fighting our people?
A Royal Polish contingent wanted to add to the Bishopric of Lebus.grupoavigase.com/includes/341/384-como-conocer-gente.php
Marching from Magdeburg , Albert the Bear recovered Havelberg , lost since the Slavic rebellion; the crusaders then destroyed a pagan temple and castle at Malchow. After an unsuccessful siege of Demmin, a contingent of crusaders was diverted by the margraves to attack central Pomerania instead, they reached the already Christian city Szczecin , whereupon the crusaders dispersed after meeting with Bishop Adalbert of Pomerania and Christian duke Ratibor I of Pomerania.
The Wendish Crusade achieved mixed results. However, the disparate Christian leaders, mostly Canute and Sweyn, regarded their counterparts with suspicion and accused each other of sabotaging the campaign.
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According to Bernard of Clairvaux, the goal of the crusade was to battle the pagan Slavs "until such a time as, by God's help, they shall either be converted or deleted". In preaching the Crusade, Bernard had urged to not make truce or accept any form of tribute, but the crusaders did receive tribute from Niklot as mentioned, which contributed to Bernard's perception of the crusade as a failure; the Saxons achieved largely token conversions at Dobin, as the Slavs returned to their pagan beliefs once the Christian armies dispersed; Albert of Pomerania explained, "If they had come to strengthen the Christian faith The Danes recaptured the island of Rugen in and was able to re-Christianize it through the establishment of churches and by allowing Prince Jaromit of Rugen to remain in power after he fully accepted Christianity;  the Danes were able to be successful through their method of encouraging Christianity rather than focusing solely on controlling the newly acquired land.
The countryside of Mecklenburg and central Pomerania was plundered and depopulated with much bloodshed, especially by the troops of Henry the Lion. By the s, most of the Wends had come under the control of the Saxons or the Danes.
Related Nyklot: The Wendish Crusade and The War In Heaven 1147 AD
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